This week has been seriously nerve-wracking, I had an Pre-Operation Assessment for an elective surgery that I pushed for over 18 months ago, although I really don’t want to go into details about what the operation is for, all I’m willing to say is that it’s something to help with my self-esteem issues and no, it is not a boob job!
But now my anxiety levels are extremely high and the slightest thing is setting off a severe panic/anxiety attacks which is making me re-think whether this surgery is a good idea. I’ve spoken to 2 of my doctors who have both assured me that in the long run it will worth it and that any set backs in my recovery can be addressed and will be out-weighed by the results from the surgery. However, this doesn’t stop me worrying and that nagging little voice in my head that picks away at my confidence is shouting at me, what if goes wrong, what if you have a bad reaction to the anaesthetic, etc, etc.
I really don’t want to waste the time of all the NHS staff that have helped me to get to this point but I’m terrified of it going wrong somehow. My husband just tells me to do what I think is best and I just want someone to tell me what to do like when I had to have my thyroid removed because I had no choice, it had to go or it was going to kill me in the long run as the meds couldn’t control it.
What should I do, I want to feel more like my old self and this will be one step closer but what if…
Canon EOS 550D & 18-55mm kit lens, Exposure 1/50, Aperture f/18.0, ISO 100, Focal Length 35mm