About the Mad Woman…

Well, what can I say! I’m a stay at home mum and wife with a passion for photography.

I have suffered with severe depression for several years and this has led me to develop an anxiety disorder too.  I so wish there was a magic pill that would just make it go away! Imagine feeling so sad and worthless that you can hardly drag yourself out of bed and see yourself as worthless with nothing to offer, even to your immediate family, no energy, unable to concentrate and don’t see the point in doing anything as it won’t be good enough anyway. I still have days like this but it’s no longer everyday.. I also don’t suffer with major panic attacks just because I have to leave the safety of my home, I still have attacks but I can now identify when they start and either employ techniques to cope or remove myself from the situation that is causing me to panic.  Although the worst thing is the guilt that I feel about how my illness is affecting my family so I worked hard and continue to work at getting better, mainly for myself but also for my family.

My illness makes it difficult for me to do everything that I would like too but  I try, every day I try even if I just want to hide under the duvet. Over the past few years I’ve received Counselling and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, which along with my medication, has made it easier for me to leave my home and do things that probably come easily to others such as doing the school run or going food shopping. But the biggest aid to getting me more like my old self is my photography, it keeps me occupied, going outside and when I feel panicky it can also act as a shield,  from the world. Very few people will bother someone who is viewing the world through a camera!

As I slowly regained some confidence and self-worth, I re-found my interest in photography around the end of 2011, it was something I hadn’t done for over a decade and when I had done it, it was with 35mm Ilford film & an old 1980’s SLR! So my husband helped with the cost of buying a basic DSLR kit and I love it (but not as much as my hubby & son).  And it started from there….

And lastly, if you know someone who is suffering from depression, don’t dismiss them or their illness, you can’t just “snap out of it” or “cheer up”, listen to them, reassure them and show some empathy. It’s a long difficult road to recovery and a sympathetic friend does help…

23 thoughts on “About the Mad Woman…

  1. Hi, happy that you enjoyed my capture.of the fall leaves. I love your shot of the foggy valley morning. Just wanted to say I admire your forthrightness (is that a word?) about depression and I think it’s one more positive step to bringing it out in the open.

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  2. Hi Dawn – Scrolling through your homepage I kept seeing fabulous photo after fabulous photo, but this page speaks to me. I so relate to most everything you said here, applaud you for not being shy about it, and hope hope hope that photography continues to be a balm for your struggles with depression.

    The road is long – at least, I expect mine is going to be – and I know the value of sympathetic friends. All the best to you.

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    • mrsdawnp says:

      Thank you for taking the time to leave such a lovely comment x
      I wish you all the best on your recovery & I’m glad that you have friends that will support you on your journey.
      All the best for the future (please free to contact me if you need someone to chat too) xx

      Like

  3. kiaman2012 says:

    I feel your your pain…and also your wish for a magic pill! I too suffer with depression & anxiety.

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  4. eddiemyers says:

    thanks for stopping by and liking my post. I understand how difficult your situation can be. My wife suffered with severe depression and really struggled hard to overcome it. I admire your courage and fortitude for working to get better. Best wishes!

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  5. ajaytao2010 says:

    excellent pictures all over thank you
    you are a really a great photographer

    Nice reading about you.

    Thanks. for visiting my blog Ajaytao2010@wordpress.com. Browse through the category sections, I feel you may definitely find something of your interest.

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  6. I enjoyed reading your post. Thanks for visiting my blog. We have both been through a lot and come out the other side though things are still tough.

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  7. Michael Ivy says:

    Thanks for liking my post. I hear your voice through your fantastic photographic work. Do not stop talking!

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  8. LyndaMichele says:

    Your photography is beautiful 🙂 We are kindred spirits, I am mother to 3 teenage boys, and I also have had issues with depression, anxiety and panic. It does stop me from being able to do certain things that I would like to do, such as travel. But I have learned to accept it, and choose to live my life focusing on the positives, and keep on keepin’ on! We can do it!

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  9. mrsdawnp says:

    Thank you for the lovely compliment and I agree, I try to concentrate on what I know I can cope with & do the things that bring me peace & joy. I hope your feeling well and I hope you pop in to visit again x

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  10. lensaddiction says:

    Hey thought I would drop in and say hi. I don’t talk a lot about personal stuff on my photography blog but I too suffer from depression. Luckily most of the time it is manageable if I have awareness and take care of myself but I have also spent a few years on medication as well. So be kind to yourself and enjoy the photography, Really like your B&W work btw.

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  11. kiwiskan says:

    I have been there, done that – and miraculously come out the other side. And don’t give in to guilt. It’s the worst thing you can do. Just give yourself positive messages that you are a valuable and worthwhile person. Accept yourself. I haven’t had a look at your photography yet but intend to

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  12. I have to applaud you’re sharing so much about yourself, and only hope others who have know idea about those who suffer, will “get it”. Agree that the “get over it” or “snap out of it” comments don’t help; they hurt. Best of luck going forward, wife and mother (I refuse to call you Mad Woman”).
    Many thanks to you for taking a gamble (glimpse) on my site and liking my “Daffodil in B&W” post.

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  13. Thank you much for following my blog. Having some experience with depression I greatly appreciate the advice you give in the last paragraph.

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  14. Bren says:

    I’ve nominated you for a ‘Blog of the Year 2013’ Award- many congratulations!
    You can see your nomination at http://onmyfrontporch.com/2013/11/21/blog-of-the-year-award-2013/ and find out about the award at http://thethoughtpalette.co.uk/blog-awards-2-/blog-of-the-year-2013-award/
    Congratulations!

    Like

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